Quote of the day:

Jandro was thirsty so he said:

"My throat is perched. "

The Meaty Lasagna
We know sports, we know food, we know life.
Guess Who?
Hint # 1 : I went to Notre Dame.
Hint # 2 : I was undrafted out of college.  I play for a team currently in season.
:
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Entertainment
Jizz In My Pants

Remember "Dick in a Box?" The Andy Samberg/Justin Timberlake duo created an instant SNL masterpiece a couple of years back that left all of your friends shouting "It's my dick in a box!!." Well, this past week, the two were at again with "Jizz in my Pants," a hilarious SNL digital short sure to have the same lasting impact on our comedic juices as "Dick in a Box." Also starring the hotness of Molly Sims and Jamie Lynn-Sigler.

 

Big Eisy, 12.9.08
 
TML Movie Review: Transformers

I just watched Transformers.  A year late, I know.  Growing up I was a huge fan but I honestly didn't remember much except for Megatron and Optimus Prime.  Other then those two names I really forgot the entire story.  So after being out of the country when the movie came out in the theaters and then just being lazy and never seeing it I finally watched it OnDemand tonight.  Great move.

First let me say this- Megan Fox is beautiful.  For those of you who don't already know who she is, just look:

And if you are still reading and haven't gone to do "something", then you are a better man than me.  I just got back.

Sorry, ok, just got back again. 

Alright so then there was this other girl, the hacker girl, I have no idea what her name is but she was really hot also.  The movie itself was an arm-rest gripper give me a freakin' seatbelt flick essentially the whole time. I go to a movie to be entertained, I pay money for the entertainment.  If a movie is not entertaining then I think it is a bad movie.  It is not about the money, I am not one of those people that will go ask for my money back if it sucked, its the fact that I'm sitting here wanting to be entertained but I am really just having a shitty time and I want to go home and look at fantasy basketball scores. 

This movie kept me entertained the entire time.  I found myself wondering why the guy from Las Vegas was only in parts of it but Jon Voight was in it almost every other scene.  Finally we get to see Voight hold a big gun.  First time I've seen him hold a gun since Mission Impossible (one of my all-time favs). 

Just got back again, sorry.  (No, I was not thinking about Jon Voight holding a gun, sicko). 

There were some parts of the movie that didn't "flow", such as some of the fighting scenes and the fact that Sam didn't give the glasses to Optimus the second they were together, Sam and Mikaela got captured and then Optimus found the glasses on the ground.  There are a ton of action scenes and a bunch of comedic scenes mixed in.  I have to be honest, I didn't know the guy from Harold and Kumar ("Come on Pookie!  Let's burn this motherf*cker down!") was in it.  I was pleasantly surprised.  I like action combined with comedy because it gives your heart a few moments to relax and chill out before the next seat gripping scene. 

Overall I rate this movie a 5 out of 5. Whether or not you agree I don't really care. Anytime you can mix Megan Fox with a shweet car I'll probably see the movie. I leave you with this:

Wow.  I would stick my All Spark in her chest.

BP, 12.2.08
 
I Love to Crap

Hands High!  That phrase is music to my ears.  I consider myself a "betting man" only because I know more about gambling than the average Joe.  I am a conservative better.  I don't risk the kind of money where if I lose I'll be eating Wendy's go-wraps for dinner every day.  (Note: I eat go-wraps for dinner everyday now because I want too, not because I HAVE too.)  I play poker, Caribbean stud, five and seven card stud, blackjack, roulette, I bet on sports.   However, the game I love the most is Craps.  

I don't know all the rules of craps.  I still consider myself a novice but I know enough to play at a table and look like I know more than I do.  I play the pass line and I always back up my bet and I always place six and eight.  If I'm on a roll (pun intended) I'll throw a couple more bucks on the six or the eight, sometimes even backing up my bet a little more.  I have a certain way of rolling the dice that seems to have worked for me thus far.  Unfortunately for me the closest place to play craps is a plane trip away.  I don't consider online gambling fair because I am convinced it is rigged, but that's another article for another day. 

I've been to the Bahamas a bunch of times and the most recent time I crapped way too much.  I used to be a huge blackjack guy until I found out how insanely fun craps is.  Not only do you interact with a bunch of fun people but also it's the only game where it seems that the environment and attitude of the players seems to dictate what happens in the game.  It's also the only game where you can be belligerent drunk yelling the whole time and people think you are just having a good time. 

Let's compare- in the game of craps you are betting on the OTHER players as well, so if you want an eight to come out and the dude rolls an eight, you can scream and yell and jump and cheer and high five everyone.  The louder you are the more popular you are with the other players.  Everyone wants to be friends with the really loud guy at the craps table (i.e. Uncle Sid). 

Switch to blackjack- for those of us who didn't go to MIT and can't count cards, we pretty much don't give a rats ass what the guy next to us does.  You can have a strategy that you would like him to follow but the guy after you doesn't affect your specific card total in the least bit.  If you have an eighteen and the guy next to you hits a blackjack you're actually pissed at him and wonder why you didn't sit in his seat.  If you hit blackjack and he gets an eighteen, it really doesn't matter one way or the other.  There is no cheering for the other players in blackjack, you would look drunk and sloppy.   The loud player at the blackjack table looks like an ass and the pit boss warns them before he has to politely "remove" them from the table. 

Haven't you ever seen Vegas Vacation?  Clark plays blackjack and loses all his money and is miserable.  Nick Papagiorgio plays craps with hot prostitutes and gets comped the penthouse suite.  I rest my case.   

Another thing I like about craps is that when you make a bet the pit boss and the crew takes care of everything.  You don't ever have to remember how much money you are putting down because they do it all for you.  You can knock over a bunch of chips on the table and they somehow remember where everything is supposed to be and they fix it for you.  You are in fact told NOT to touch anything!  You can literally throw your chips onto the table anywhere and scream out random things like "six" or "eight" or even fun phrases like "BOXCAR!".

The pit crew also makes the game more fun.  They say funny things like "Hot shootahh heyahhh, hot shootahhh!"  and it makes you feel like you are the man.  If you lean over the table they scream out "HANDS HIGH!   HANDS HIGH!"  I love it.  

Who knows when I'll play craps next.  Maybe when I go skiing in Montreal this winter.  Until then, I'll be like my hands and stay high.*

*Just kidding, but it sounded really cool.

BP, 11.18.08